I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
