Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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