I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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