Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
