defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize