i barfeds in our rink
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
