Please, let me fuck your mom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
