No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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