the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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