I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Drake has all the answers
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
