now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
