Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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