what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
