So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
