id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
