he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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