Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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