I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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