How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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