R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
