I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
