somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
