Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
