I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
