I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
