dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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