they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
