this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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