How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
