you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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