You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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