Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize