She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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