I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
