It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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