areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
