So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
