i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
