Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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