Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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