the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
