So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
