Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
