ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize