So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
