singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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