Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
