yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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