Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize