Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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