I hate all girls vehemently.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
