3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
