I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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