when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
