it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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