Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
