Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize