I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize