Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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