the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's a Shit stain on my heart
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
