shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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