so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
