...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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